2 years ago I was playing around with Riley in Washington D.C.-being dorks and taking silly pictures at some of the most historic places of our nation. The picture below is on our tour bus.


1 year ago my family came to see me graduate from Utah State. Riley decided that he too wanted to "graduate" so we took some pictures of him with my diploma. I told him that I would help him get there himself and that in a few short years he would be graduating from college too. Now my diploma is his too.


This last picture is from New Years day. We continued a fun tradition of going out to an early dinner on New Years-just the parents and their kids. We talked about the fun things from the past year and our goals for this year. 18 short days later I lost my brother. And now 5 months later I continue to struggle with the feelings stirred up with his death. We have had several "firsts" without him already. And while the holidays are hard I am finding that the small everyday things are harder. Recently I helped to conduct the choir at the elementary where I work-he couldn't come. When I changed my hair I didn't have him to tease me about it and then tell me that it looked great. When my class had Sports Day-he wasn't there to help with my students. Today as we do some yard work at Grandma's with everyone he will be missed-the last time we did was when he came and helped with leaves-laughing and singing and helping without complaint. When Chelsi graduates from high school in a few weeks he won't be there to yell for her or to eat a big steak at Outback (a graduating tradition for our family). When I move my classroom and start at a junior high he won't be there to tell me that I will do fine and to not be afraid. When Josh and I start a family I won't have my little brother there to hold his neice/nephew. I'm sorry this is so down but I needed to get some things out. I miss my brother.

Blast from the Past....

Wow tonight brought a blast from the past. My nephew is doing a report on Carbon County-which happens to be the home of CEU! He asked me to look through my pictures to see if I had some he could use. So I decided to go through my picture box...I was amazed at all the pictures that I had and all the memories that came rushing back with each one. Each snapshot brought memories flooding into my mind. I couldn't believe some of the things that I had forgotten about or pushed to the back of my mind. Some were tender and sweet memories while others brought memories of regret and disappointment. And yet I am proud of what my life has become.
To my friends from CEU-thank you for accepting me for who I was at the time and the journey to becoming on the path to who I wanted to really be-even if that meant stupid choices. Thank you for the memories of my first years of college that can never be taken away. Thank you for crazy adventures at midnight and later(ok mostly later) I won't really mention them for reasoning of incrimination of myself and others :) You got me through more than you even know. And especially to my AJ Girls-what would I have done without you? Then or now? You guys have stuck with me through thick and thin. I CANNOT wait until we open our time capsule in a few weeks!
To my friends from USU...ahh where I grew into myself. To my SPED family-what would I have done without you? I doubt I could have gotten through school without all of you. Graduation was something that became possible through all your love and support. To my roommates-my family away from Magna...ahh what can I even say? Our adventures could not be matched. My last year of CobbleCreek was wonderful! God could not have given me better roommates that complimented my every need in roommates.
And to my family-wow pictures from years ago brought wonderful memories and sadness at the same time-pictures with Riley brought bittersweet things. And to my Joshy...ahh the pictures-from middle school to high school to college to now-it was so fun to see our wonderful timeline of life together-I can't wait to share many more years with you.
It was so fun to look through the memories and think of the memories that are yet to be made. I know I didn't talk about everyone but the pictures that I looked through brought some wonderful memories. So to those that helped make those memories thank you...to those that will make more memories with me-thank you now!

Day by Day

Wow this last month has flown by and yet has been some of the longest days of my life. Some of you may or may not know the tragedy that my family has been going through. My little brother Riley passed away unexpectedly on January 19th. Words can't really express the emotions or feelings that accompany a death. There are so many things that I wish I could have or would have said. Wishing I had invited him over one more time to hang out or go and do something. I must say that I feel blessed to have had the time that I did with Riley. Josh and I were able to go to a movie on New Year's Day with Riley-just the 3 of us hanging out.
I thank my Heavenly Father for the amazing memories that I am able to have of Riley. As I think about the last few weeks I am so incredibly grateful for the knowledge that I have of eternal families. The knowledge that I KNOW I will see my brother again has brought much comfort. I am blessed to KNOW that we will be together as a family someday. That is why life can continue for me-that is why I will never forget him.

This picture is me and my beautiful sisters.


One last family picture with Riley's casket.


This last picture from that day is our family doing a group hug at the cemetery. It was a wonderful moment that we were able to share.


Here are some of my favorites...
Riley's high school graduation!


Here we are in DC...what a stud!


Chilling on the tour bus..we thought we were pretty cool!


Now compare the next 2 pictures...taken in the same place...he is "one tall drink of water" :)



And lastly from my wedding...love him!