1 year ago my family came to see me graduate from Utah State. Riley decided that he too wanted to "graduate" so we took some pictures of him with my diploma. I told him that I would help him get there himself and that in a few short years he would be graduating from college too. Now my diploma is his too.
This last picture is from New Years day. We continued a fun tradition of going out to an early dinner on New Years-just the parents and their kids. We talked about the fun things from the past year and our goals for this year. 18 short days later I lost my brother. And now 5 months later I continue to struggle with the feelings stirred up with his death. We have had several "firsts" without him already. And while the holidays are hard I am finding that the small everyday things are harder. Recently I helped to conduct the choir at the elementary where I work-he couldn't come. When I changed my hair I didn't have him to tease me about it and then tell me that it looked great. When my class had Sports Day-he wasn't there to help with my students. Today as we do some yard work at Grandma's with everyone he will be missed-the last time we did was when he came and helped with leaves-laughing and singing and helping without complaint. When Chelsi graduates from high school in a few weeks he won't be there to yell for her or to eat a big steak at Outback (a graduating tradition for our family). When I move my classroom and start at a junior high he won't be there to tell me that I will do fine and to not be afraid. When Josh and I start a family I won't have my little brother there to hold his neice/nephew. I'm sorry this is so down but I needed to get some things out. I miss my brother.
